HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

1. Wishing you the very best----love, peace and joy. Your life is more than the quest for holiday perfection. Remember the holidays are just a small percentage of your life. Have a Bloody Mary  and take on the family. They can't bite if you won't let them. Have some pat answers before you face Aunt Ethel, and change the conversation around to them. You don't have to reveal any more than you want to. This is your life--your pledge to live the life you want to. So spoiled kids, surly husbands, thoughtless relatives, bitchy girlfriends.....who cares. My personal solution is to buy yourself something wonderful , make a hot beverage (spiked or not--your choice) light a fire , or some candles and watch Love Actually. Because, actually, you are the most important person in this equation.......and be sure to remember what the holiday is truly about.
2.  
3.  Love ya'

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

HOT GIRL....COOL PEARLS

HOT GIRL PEARLS

We all want to be the hot girl....but not when it means your internal temperature is rising and you getting literally hot under the collar. Saw these on the new Katie show and thought they were pretty ingenious. What a concept. But not just for hot flashes. I can see their use for construction workers, golfers, moms that spend endless hours watching their children playing baseball or soccer in the scorching sun.

Check them out. They come with a little bag so you an keep them cool. They apparently last for an hour. Check them out at www.coolgirlpearls.com

Another reason to believe that necessity is truly the mother of invention.

THE NAUGHTY SIDE OF THE HOLIDAYS

Sometimes I just can't resist these things. They are so outrageous, they
simply make me laugh. Which one is your fave?











Can't believe I'm posting this last one. Let's give a little hand to the
creative, sick minds at www.bluntcards.com

GOTCHA' COVERED

Now I See You......

Well this little device may be the best thing since sliced bread!!! It's a DOORBOT. You install this cool little device in your door (which they say is simple) and anytime anyone comes to your door.....UPS guy, Mom, ex-boyfriends ...you will see it on your smart phone. You can talk to them : Hi Cute UPS Guy, leave the package....or Go away Henry, and never darken my door again. Wow that a trick and a half. If it's an unwelcome intruder they'll  think you're at home. Big security, lots of options. You can tell the florist with that lavish bouquet that you'll be home in a jiff. And if the Sweepstakes people (or the feds) come calling you'll know that too.

Here's the specs.

DoorBot

Go to www.Christiestreet.com to place your order.

Est. delivery: July 2013

$169.00

• Built in Wi-Fi allows you to monitor your front door from anywhere
• Compatible with iPhone, iPad and Android devices
• Can sync with multiple smartphones and tablets
• Brushed aluminum faceplate
• Weather resistant
• LED lighted ring emphasizes push-to-talk button
• Infrared camera provides clear video during day or night
• Comes with four AA size batteries

ANOTHER GOOD MEAL!!!!

 

It's rough out there this time of year. We all want to find healthy dinners

that make us feel full and comfort us. After all it's stressful adding the holiday

in the mix. This is yummy and comforting and adds up to less that three

hundred calories a serving.

 

Ingredients:

1 can (14.5 oz) Hunts Fire Roasted Diced Tomatoes with garlic

3/4 cups water

1 cup instand white rice

1/2 cup shredded Cheddar and Monterray Jack cheese

2 slice Zucchinis

1 bell pepper

olive oil (a drizzle around the pan)

1 can premium black beans

 

Heat oil over medium heat and add zucchini and bell peppers. cook for five

minutes.Add beans and undrained tomatoes and water. Increase heat and

bring to a boil. Add rice and remove from heat. Let it stand for several minutes

then sprinke with cheese. You can also add some chicken .

THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE!!!!

OMG ...it's December 1st. Are you feeling the panic?
It's that time of year when we all get busy, spend too much. laugh too loud,
try too hard, and frankly set our selves up for disappointment. Why on earth
do we think we have to be perfect? Why would we want to be? This is
where that thing called wisdom comes in. So here are a few fave quotes of
mine that I thought I'd share.  They don't have a thing to do with Christmas
or the holiday season.  But they'll distract you for a few seconds.

So if you disappoint --if your tree looks like
crap and your rum balls make people gag......remember that in the whole scheme
of things it doesn't really matter. Who wouldn't rather be talked about for her
tender heart or her amazing ideas? That's the ticket!!!!

      

 

Add a comment...

 

HELLO GORGEOUS!!!!

Past our prime? Too old to turn heads? You have got to be kidding. Here are some ladies who we think are aging pretty gracefully. Who's your favorite? Better yet send us your real life picture. We've got a lot

 more living to do Boom Chicks!!!!

Here's Jill from Home Improvements. Tim Allen's long suffering wife.

Well she can't be suffering too much if she looks this good at 61.

Oh Chrissie You're So Fine. You're so fine you blow my mind.

She is 66. Freaking amazing. Three's Company's Suzanne Sommers

is still looking great and telling us how in her new book "Sexy Forever."

haven't read it. but.........I'll have whatever she's having!!!!!

We love you Goldie. You are 67...but you still look fantastic..

Wouldn't you love to see her in another First Wives Club type movie?

If you're looking for a great script , Goldie, I have one...which I wrote

with my buddy Joanne Lechleiter called the Estrogen Files.

La-La-Lucci. You are looking great lady at age 67. Never watched your soap, but

love your legend. I bet she's still breaking hearts...and even better, she's a hell of

a good businesswoman.

JUST BECAUSE I CAN!!!!

THANKSMAS? ????

The turkey is thawing in the fridge and the table is set with the Spode turkey plates for the annual family Thanksgiving. Lots of family and a few strays.On the menu is a hodge podge of traditional Thanksgiving fare with a little Lebanese, some Mexican  and a sprinkling of Rule Britannia. It's a toast to our combined heritage of Lebanese , Mexican and British.  It's the United Nations on crack. Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving better than one side of the family that came through Ellis Island, the British side that came as a war bride and the Mexican side that probably swam across the Rio Grande. Plus we'll be missing my brother and his family who live in the Ukraine. Told you. We are quite the international conglomeration.

But in spite of the pimped out heritage, we have pumpkins and turkeys, mums and golden hues of orange, gold , green and brown  Add to that some killer Bloody Mary's .We all agree that we are privileged to be Americans and we celebrate it like there's no tomorrow. No decorating for Christmas before Thanksgiving on my watch !!!! Thanksgiving is too good of a holiday not to be celebrated on it's own merit. so why, why, do these people eat their pumpkin pie surrounded by angels and Santa's? That's just wrong.

I hate driving through neighborhoods where the homeowners are confused . Christmas and Thanksgiving decor come together like an unholy alliance. It's the mullet of seasons, Thanksgiving in the front and Christmas in the back.  Pumpkins on one porch and elves peaking down from the rooftop. a mishmash of Turkey Trot and Silent Night. WTF. I love Thanksgiving...no gifts, just food and companionship. So while I am throwing out my pumpkins tomorrow and you have already set up your Christmas table, you might be a little smug and I might just be a tiny bit jealous. But tonight I'm just ready for  Thanksgiving. No Christmas allowed!!!


Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

 

hristmas WreathsOur fun-to-make Christmas wreaths come in unexpected shapes, dazzling colors, and out-of-the-ordinary materials.

YOU KNOW YOU LOVE IT!!!

I know...I know. The crockpot always seems to please at this time of the year. The
first time I ever tried white chili I was enchanted. So here's a crock pot version
that will make you sooooo happy when you come home after a busy day. Break
out the wine , or better yet a Corona with lime and enjoy. This recipe is terrific and
comes from the blog Design Wine Dine.

White Chicken Chili

Ingredients

Chili:1 1/2 lbs uncooked chicken breast (can be frozen) cut into 1-2″ chunks
2 – 15 oz cans of white beans
1 – 15 oz can of white corn
1 onion chopped (sweet/Vidalia)
1 clove garlic finely chopped (I love garlic so I used 2)
1 package taco seasoning
1 – 7 oz can of chopped green chilies
1 can cream of chicken soup
1 – 14 oz can of chicken broth

Toppings:
1/2 cup sour cream (I used low fat)
2 tbls lime juice
Finely chopped cilantro
Fresh shredded cheese (I used Colby-Jack)
Corn tortilla chips (the authentic yellow kind)

Directions

Place cut up chicken in the bottom of the Crock Pot. Add beans, corn and onion. Mix the next five ingredients and pour over the top. Cover and cook on low in the Crock Pot for 8-10 hours. (I was running low on time so I cooked mine on low for about 4 1/2 hours and then raised it to high for the last two hours).

Before serving use a potato masher to break up the chicken. (Make sure you do this very quickly with pressure and alternating directions… the consistency should change from brothy with chunks of meat and beans to a very thick and even consistency. If it is still brothy, keep mashing).

Add shredded cheese, a dollop of sour cream, a splash of lime juice, cilantro and chips before serving. YUM!

* Yield: 6-8

THE DEMI DEBAUCHLE!!!!

Happy Birthday Demi. This has been a rough year for you, girl. Your marriage ended and you have the pain of seeing the ex with a hot young number in the tablouds every week. Well it goes to show....you can be as beautiful and talented as Demi Moore and you can still get dumped. Especially if your husband is just about the cutest thing on the planet and happens to be 34, which would be three years older than my oldest son. Seriously Demi. Is there any chance in hell that a 50 year old woman, albeit a gorgeous one, can keep the interest of a man-child . Or for that matter would want to?

I'm sure they thought they were soul mates, and all that business. But at the end of the day , she needs her beauty rest and he is ready to Par-tay. Imagine the peppiness you'd have to pour on everyday. It's exhausting to even think about it. You'd have to have be "on" twenty four seven, and for most of us there isn't enough vitamins, exercise or medication that can keep us at the pace of a thirty four year old.

Is it just me, or is a fabulous dinner and a couple of drinks enough. I've done my time dancing on tables and staying out late with pretty boys. Give me a guy with salt and pepper hair and a reasonable amount of perky where it counts and I'm pretty happy.  Here's a hint ladies . If he thinks Crosby, Stills and Nash is a law firm, then he's too young for you. If he was born after 1960, leave him alone. That's the best advice I can give. Otherwise you're on your own.

But if you disagree and it's worked out well for you, you have my admiration. Tell us your story about your May-December relationship. Dying to know. And as for you Demi, get over it. You have a lot more living to do. So do it already.

WHO ARE YOU, STEVIE NICKS????

 

What on earth are we thinking? Why do middle aged women feel compelled to look like gypsies/aging hippies/peasant women from the Middle Ages?. What could possibly compel us to wear long saggy, flowy clothes that look like we just hiked from Uzbekistan . Seriously, they are so ugly. They make us look out of touch and totally not worth listening to. No offense Stevie Nicks, I loved your style when you were in your twenties. You rocked. But somehow , some idiot designers re giving our age group a bad name with this refugee look.

Believe me you would never see Barbara Walters or Helen Mirren in these get ups. They have clothing that fits and looks nice. You may say, "but I'm heavy" ," I can't wear tailored things they make me look fat." Are you kidding me?  No one is in the slightest bit fooled by your shape when you're dressed like a sheep herder. You are what you are. Embrace it.

Get in touch with a good tailor, and try classic shapes. They never fail to flatter. Let's face it, you may not have the waistline you had at 19, but I bet your savvy and life experience more than makes up for it. Get a great haircut. Go for killer accessories and simple shapes. You've still got a lot of living to do lady. So go do it with a little dignity.

YUMMY FISH BOWL!!!

Just because it's fall doesn;t mean you have to ditch salds totally. I know that those
great summer veggies aren't always available now. But there are some things you
can always count on. This fish bowl is sort of like my fave bowl at Chipotle's
but with fish, which we all know we should eat more of.. Plus it looks pretty and
 colorful and it's really tasty and really good  for you So here it goes..
.thanks to Pinch of Yum.

FISH BOWL

1 T chili powder
1T cumin
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
3-4 tilapia filets
1-2 cloves of garlic
1 cup sweet corn
1 red onion diced
1 red pepper diced
1 can black beans (drained)
Cilantro
2 cupscooked  brown rice
have on hand: avocado
                       shredded cheese
                       cour cream

Mix spices together in a bowl and rub on both sides of fish. Add salt and pepper

In a nonstick skillet over medium heat drizzle in olive oil to covere. Add garlic . Saute
one to 2 mins. Add fish. Grill fish on each side until done. Add corn , pepper and onion until tender . add black beans.
Put in lettuce lined bowl and top with cheese , avocadoes, sour cream.
Easy and nutritious.

KNOCKERS UP

When I was a high school cheerleader, this was our pre-game chant. Not that we had to worry about gravity at that point in our lives. But ladies, now is the time to get your boobs in order. Nine out of ten women wear the wrong size bra. I thought I was pretty savvy, I was fitted last year and bought a boat load of new bras and quite honestly felt pretty smug about it. But , like most of us, the weight goes up...then down. This time I was fortunate to have lost a few and I notice the lingerie just wasn't fitting as well. So I went back...Low and behold I needed a new size. Really? Is this just a ploy to keep your local lingerie department financially robust?.

Apparently it wasn't , because I feel renewed and somehow perkier (if there is such a thing for out age group). So here are the tips. Go in try on a size..bend over at the waist and get all that breast tissue down in it. Then opposite hand to opposite breast lift your breast into position. Sounds pervy, but you want it to fit right , don't you? The straps should stay in place and the front should fit snug and the breastbone. Don't hesitate to ask for help. They are on your side. Your clothes will thank you.

Check out recent copy of FIRST magazine at your grocery store. It says it can help you look fifteen years younger with the right bra. What have you got to loose?.

SPLITTING HAIRS!!!!

It's a tale as old as time. When you hit forty should you chop off your hair and don a poodle cut or a Dorothy Hamil "do"? .....do you go for the inoffensive short classic Bob, or perhaps a neat bun or chignon? Ditch that I say. Take a look at what 66 looks like with long hair.  That's right, Jacqueline Smith, with gorgeous hair looking quite spectacular.

I don't know if she has hair extensions. Frankly I don't care. But I have to say, from my own experience, that long hair has it's pluses. I grew my hair long quite by accident last year. I was working hard on a reality show and I kept missing my monthly hair trims. So , before I knew it, it was shoulder length. And I love it. Perfect in a pony tail for the gym, and honestly it garners quite a bit of positive attention. At our age, you take what you can get.

Now if you're going to wear your hair long, grey roots are probably not going to cut it. I told my family if I go in a coma, please have Larry come once a month to color  my hair. If I actually knew how much grey I had, I would probably be headed straight back to la-la land.

So how do you feel about it. Long hair or short? Send me your pictures. I have a feeling there are some good looking boomchicks out their sporting a long "do".

DEAR ABBY NAILS IT!!!

You've gotta love Dear Abby. I've been reading her advise since I was a teenager. Sometimes I don't agree. Sometimes she seems a little old fashioned, a little out of touch.  But Oh Mama, she nailed it on this one.

DEAR ABBY:
I am a divorced father of two children, one in college and the other in high school. I have reached a point where I can take trips and make time for me. I am well-educated and earn an above-average income. I'm in decent shape and considered a "catch" by many of the single women I encounter. But most of the women in my age bracket (mid-40's) or slightly younger no longer take care of themselves.
I'm looking for an attractive woman to accompany me through life. Most single men put a premium on a woman's appearance. Where would you suggest finding a suitable partner?

DEAR MR PARTICULAR:
Start at the nearest gym. If that doesn't net you what you're trolling for, another place to look would be the Playboy Mansion in Los Angeles. Hef throws large parties there, many of which are fundraisers. Who knows? For a generous donation you might meet a woman  who meets your high standards--providing you have enough assets to merit her interest.

ME:
Abby , honey, you own this. I thought this was hilarious. Don't  you know men-on-the-prowl that sound exactly like this sanctimonious ass?.

MIDDLE AGE LOVE IN THE TIME OF VIAGRA

There's nothing poetic about it. The rules of love had changed. At the turn of the century you lived to be maybe thirty , then you died. Simple. Marriages lasted long enough to produce plenty of children. If the woman didn't die in childbirth , then she was usually destined to be a widow. The party was over. As for middle age sex, well, it was pretty much a non entity.

Today we have thirty years more added to our life expectancy. Ouch. That means more years of being married. And here's the thing. We are now in our fifties, sixties, and guess what? We don't feel it. We go to the gym, we eat right, and to be honest we still feel young-at-heart, even though that occasional glimpse in the mirror may tell us otherwise.

Now men at fifty and sixty are popping the Viagra and Cialis like candy corn on Halloween. Men are taking testosterone shots to keep aging at bay and feeling good about themselves. You might ask, what does that mean to the traditional marriage? It means, simply, that the playing field is now unequal. Women are just popping out of the hell hole that is menopause, and men are revved up like formula one race cars. This in NOT a pretty picture, ladies. Someone is going to get burned here, and it isn't going to be penis pill popping poppa's..

Add to this formula fifty percent of women who didn't make their first (or second ) marriage work. They are out on patrol, looking for replacement husband. After all fifty and sixty year old men are just as desirable to 35-40 year old women. These women have kids that will need college educations ...and they have hair extensions to buy . It doesn't matter how paunchy your spouse is or how bald, socially awkward or unattractive. If he's successful, has a bank account and some property, he is desirable. All those single women struggling to make ends meet will gladly change places with you. They like the looks of your life. You may laugh and think ok...Skank alert. Remember you heard it here first.....from some fantastic ladies I've interviewed who never knew what hit 'em.

 

 

PUT A CROCK IN IT!!!

It's that time of year again that salads don't quite cut it. If the leaves are turning and the temp drops , soup is the only thing that will satisfy. I make every kind of soup and I usually rip off the recipes from other people. I have tried tons of recipes, and I will be sharing my best with you. I love this soup. It's super easy and it tastes great. Plus you can freeze it. I like to add a squeeze of lime, a little sour cream, cheese and crunched up tortillas . Sure that "ups" the calorie count, but it's a satisfying meal. Bon Appetit!!



Crockpot Chicken Enchilada Soup

c/o Table for Two

Ingredients

3 tbsp. butter

3 tbsp. flour

1/2 cup chicken broth

2 cups milk (I used 2%)

1 can (10 oz) of enchilada sauce

1 can (15 oz) black beans, rinsed and drained

1 can (14.5 oz) Rotel diced tomatoes and green chilies

1 package (10 oz) frozen corn

1 medium onion, diced

1 green pepper, diced

8 chicken tenderloins or 2 whole chicken breasts

Directions

1. In a large skillet, melt the butter over medium low heat and stir in the flour until smooth and bubbly.
2. Remove from heat and add in the chicken broth and 1/2 cup of milk, stirring to make sure there are no lumps.
3. Return to heat and bring to a gentle boil, stirring until it thickens. Then in a large bowl, whisk in the enchilada sauce and the chicken broth mixture.
4. Continue to whisk the mixture as you add the rest of the milk.
5. In a crockpot, combine the beans, tomatoes, frozen corn, onions, and green peppers.
6. Place the chicken tenderloins or breasts on top of this mixture.
7. Pour the sauce you just made over the chicken & veggie ingredients in the crockpot.
8. Cover and cook on low for 6-8 hours or high for 3-4 hours.
9. Right before serving, take out the chicken and shred it. Then add it back into the pot and mix to combine well.
10. You can top this with whatever cheese you like and whatever toppings (olives, guacamole, sour cream, etc.)

DRINK UP WITCHES!!!!!!

Who doesn't love a Halloween cocktail? That extra touch of imagination makes the whole experience much more fun. It's guaranteed to bring our your inner witch and make that warlock of yours howl with delight. And even if you're flying solo.....a great landing is always desirable. So here's a sample of the best from Esquire.

So drink up witches. Halloween only comes once a year.

Voodoo Child

75 oz Smith & Cross Pot Still Rum
.75 oz Barbancourt White Rum
.75 oz St. Germaine Elderflower Liqueur
.75 oz Cointreau
1 oz fresh-squeezed lime juice
.5 oz fresh-squeezed grapefruit juice
1 dash Angostura Bitters
6 dashes chili tincture (or lighter-bodied hot sauce)
Combine all ingredients into a mixing tin, add your ice, and shake aggressively for about 20 seconds. Strain over fresh ice into a tumbler and get creative with your garnish. Dry ice? Cayenne-dusted lime wheels? Thinly-sliced fresh red chili? Fugu powder? Up to you.

NO SPANX!!!!!!

When I was growing up it was a big deal to finally...finally get to wear nylons No more anklets for me...I had arrived. Then came the inevitable question, how the hell do you keep those puppies to stay up. Well basically you had two choices, a girdle or a garter belt. As far as I was concerned there was no choice. Who in their right mind wanted to wear a garment with all the appeal of a Nurse Ratched endorsed straight jacket. They were hideous and they were so tight they made you nauseous. For some off reason some parents favored them. Could it be because they were the most passive aggressive birth control device ever invented?

My personal choice was the garter belt. I didn't realize it's sex appeal way back then. The teen models were not lacy or pretty, they were simply  functional. Then came the birth of pantyhose. A brilliant invention that kept me happy for decade. Then going bare legged kept me even happier. It's been a wonderful life with bare legs, some Origins ginger mouse and me.

So why, why people are we back to SPANX? . They are evil. I don't care how many celebrities wear them on the red carpet, or how much Oprah sings their praises. They are girdles. Sure they are nude colored and have cute packaging, but they are still meant to restrain. I recently worked on shooting a reality show of cute young singers. All these tiny girls wear them. Seriously!!!!. Do you wear them? Do you like them? Please someone give me a good reason to wear them.....or I'm just going to have to prance through the rest of my life with naked legs.